I'm not a Mom on tv, but I play one in Real Life.

The kids were all home sick from school yesterday. Coincidence that today is a school holiday? I think not! Of course, they were actually sick. Jason was running a fever, Sean’s actually been home all week with chest congestion that is triggering his asthma. His wheezing scares me way more than all the Saw movies combined!

And so my house, after 5 kids have been home in it two going on two days, is trashed. TRASHED. Like a hair metal band hotel room trashed. Only minus the cigarette butts and empty beer bottles. And their drugs of choice are Children’s Tylenol and Triaminic (grape flavored, why didn’t they have that when I was a kid, instead of that crappy ORANGE. I HATE ORANGE. Probably because it is the flavor of medicine.)

And now, suddenly, the older kids are all feeling better. And Sean, he thinks he’s feeling better. He told me so, and demonstrated by running around, and then bending over in a coughing, wheezing fit. At which point, he requested his nebulizer treatment and said maybe he’d just lie down for a while and watch SpongeBob.

I, unfortuantely, do not work for a bank or government agency. So I am at work today. Which means the cleanliness status of my home is going into DECON level 5.

I think I need to go see a movie tonite. Men Who Stare At Goats. In honor of our Veterans. Cause I’m all patriotic like that! God Bless America. And also Brendan Fraser. He played a Vietnam vet in Now and Then, uncredited. And Sgt. Stone in GI Joe, also uncredited. Selflessly serving. Oh yeah, he’s a real American hero!

But seriously, THANK YOU to all our past and current service men and women. Your selfless sacrifices to protect our country, home, family and friends is appreciated more than words can say. You are true heros.