I got the call a couple of weeks ago. Sean was having trouble in school. He’d been refusing to do his homework all week. When Friday rolled around, he was going to miss out on choosing a toy from the Treasure Chest. And he completely melted down. Desks were tipped over, books thrown in the trash, homework torn up. Disaster. He had never exhibited this kind of behavior in this class, though it was a near perfect repeat of an incident in the fall of 2008 at his other school.
The principal was called in. They phoned me for a same day after school conference. By the time I walked in the classroom a couple of hours later, Sean was all smiles and happy as could be. His teachers said they’d never seen a turn around like that before. He sat and pouted at first after calming down, then he got up, righted the desk, pulled his books out of the recycling bin (even in the midst of an emotional tornado, he’s still environmentally conscious!) cleaned up the torn up bits of homework and ASKED FOR NEW HOMEWORK SHEETS, please! Then he sat quietly at his desk and did them. When he turned them in, he said he was sorry for his behavior (yes, he said behavior. He’s a bright kid and his vocabulary usage always surprises and very often amuses us all.)
So I was able to have a rather pleasant meeting with his teachers. Unfortunately, it boiled down to him not getting enough time with Mom. I’d been working too much, I was too tired in the evenings by the time I got home, and so was Sean. Trying to do homework at 6:30 pm when we’re trying to get dinner, baths, chores and bedtime just wasn’t happening for him. He would sit at the desk in my room, by me and refuse to so much as lift the pencil. For hours at a time. Til 9pm or I finally said just go to bed. He knew the consequences of not doing his homework, and he was more than capable of doing the work. I would try to help him by just giving him one page at a time, trying to encourage as much as possible. It just wasn’t a good environment, period. Too chaotic. Too much stress and pressure.
I needed a new plan. What I came up with is VERY inconvenient for me, but perfect for Sean. And that’s what matters.
Now I leave work to pick him up from school everyday. He comes with me to work. My mom bought him his own little desk to have in my office right by me. He now has all afternoon to do his homework and when he’s done he can go play in the store (remember, I’m the store manager of my parents’ hobby and toy store Dollhouses, Trains & More – little plug for ya, Mom!!) or with all the toys I have for him in my office.
It’s been two weeks and he is thriving! He looks forward to homework because it means spending time with Mom. He loos forward to going to school because he’s so proud of having all his homework done.
And best of all, he is just plain one happy little boy again.
