I'm not a Mom on tv, but I play one in Real Life.

It’s time to play everyone’s faaaaavorite game: What’s in the Pantry?!

Ok, not really.

But since Elizabeth asked, I guess I’ll post it. I’m a slave to my readers’ whims!

This is not completely and totally all inclusive. I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to amounts. And I didn’t inventory the spice or vinegar/oils cupboard because I was running late to work as it was. I know I have olive oil and lots of garlic powder. That’s pretty much all I need anyway!

So here it is, in all it’s sad, pathetic and boring glory:

Fridge

milk
jar of dill pickle chips
chocolate syrup
hot dogs
hot dog buns (yes, we keep ours in the fridge)
grape jelly
tofu, both silken and firm (remember, this is NorCal. It’s required.)
eggs, about 2 dozen
sour cream
thousand island dressing
pickle relish
various condiments (mustard, ketchup, etc…)
jar of roasted sweet red peppers
apricot preserves
1 tube (can?) pizza dough
1/2 box margarine
light mayo
lunchmeat
sliced american cheese
small amount shredded mixed cheese
parmesan cheese
spray bottle of I can’t believe it’s not butter (don’t judge me!)
hamburger buns (they go in there too.)

Cupboard/Pantry
2 boxes of cornflakes (unopened cause no one likes them)
Various high sugar, colorful, completely unhealthy breakfast cereals
1 c. rye
2000 year old cans of Slimfast
1/2 bag of yellow split peas (WTF?)
3 cans diced tomatoes with onions & green peppers
2 pkg brown rice lasagna noodles
2 pkg spaghetti noodles
3 lg cans spaghetti sauce
1 box onion soup mix
1 box yellow corn meal (sounds like we’ll be having a lotta hoe cakes afterall!)
small amount white rice
bag of popcorn kernels
jar of popcorn kernels
jar of “indian” popcorn kernels (they’re like all various colors, not just yellow.)
bag of navy beans
small amount of brown rice
1/2 bag flake coconut
bag of gluten free pancake mix
2 bags of garbanzo bean flour
1/2 bag of sliced almonds
1 1/2 bags (5 lbs) wheat flour
quinoa flour
minute tapioca
1/2 bag chopped pecans
jar chunky peanut butter
1 can tuna (bought some last night!)
4 packets maple & brown sugar instant oatmeal
1 box hemp milk (no, it doesn’t have a picture of Woody Harrelson on the front)
2 lg marshmallows (not 2 bags, just 2 marshmallows)
1 box rotini pasta
1 box bow tie pasta
3 lg cans pumpkin
1 box german chocolate cake mix
1 jar dark molasses
soy sauce
liquid smoke
quick cooking oats
brown sugar
teriyaki sauce
balsamic vinegar
tapioca starch
white rice flour
potato starch
1/2 of a 10 lb bag of white sugar
buckwheat flour
2 packets of microwave popcorn
1/2 box mashed potato flakes
shortening
brown rice flour
powdered sugar
guar gum
xanthan gum (both used in gluten free baking, insanely expensive)

Freezer
1 bag of whole kernel corn
3 packages of hot dog buns (they were on sale!)
Yep, that’s it. Oh, we would have ice cubes in there too, but someone didn’t refill the tray!

So that is the sum-all, be-all of what we will be eating for the next 10 days.

You probably noticed a complete and total lack of meat (well, except for the tuna and hot dogs, but that’s really pushing it!) I have a few dollars set aside for ONE small grocery trip, to pick up another gallon of milk and some kind of meat product that is on an extremely good sale. I hit up Grocery Outlet last night and while I did get a good deal on cereal (box of Frankenberries for $.99!) and tuna (2 for $1) there meat was… uh… a risk I wasn’t willing to take! (plus the prices were no better than a Safeway sale.)

I’m thinking tonite’s adventure in cooking will involve pasta. It may or may not involve meat. We eat meatless pasta all the time, so this isn’t exactly pushing us out of our comfort zone. Tomorrow night I’ll be more creative. Mostly cause I’ll have to be. We can’t live on pasta all the time – I don’t have enough! If I can get my hands on some cheap cheese, we can do lasagna one night. We use the silken tofu in place of ricotta cheese and it is DIVINE! Just ask my kids, who think my recipe for GFCF Lasagna is the best ever!

Ok, well next up: menu planning.

I love menu planning. I suck at menu follow through and execution. Mostly because I am much more ambitious on paper than in reality! Let’s see if I can combine realistic expectations with a pinch of get-off-yer-lazy-duff-ness. It might come together after all! If not, I’ll need to spend those last few dollars on a weeks supply of Top Ramen!