10. Looking up their house on Google Earth.
9. Reading the original Julie/Julia Project blog from beginning to end.
8. Getting daily words of wisdom from Sh!tMyDadSays on Twitter.
7. Checking out the latest fashion on PeopleofWalmart.
6. Updating their Facebook status.
5. “Educational” videos on Youtube.
4. Catching up on missed episodes of Desperate Housewives on Television Without Pity.
3. Bejeweled Blitz and Scrambled on Facebook (that’s two strikes, FB!!)
2. Stalking haters from the past (definitely not me, I would never do that. Ever. So not my style. I’m just saying that OTHERS might…)
1. One word: Cakewrecks!

And if you want to play along too:

1. Because I’m a practical girl, feminine hygiene products. Oh yeah! I am NOT going to Martha Stewart myself some tampons out of banana leaves! So not happening. Ever.

2. Oral care toiletry bag including but not limited to: toothbrush, endless ball of floss, minty fresh toothpaste and Crest Whitening Strips – so that I have that celebrity smile when I am finally rescued and can flash all my pearly whites at the cameras! Plus, really, I’m just thinking of the poor actress that will play me in the made-for-tv movie about my tragedy turned triumph.

3. My laptop naturally. How else will I entertain myself without YouTube! Oh and I could blog forever… wait, didn’t some guy just win this as his dream job??! He’s being PAID to be stranded on a gorgeous deserted island with nothing but his laptop and blog once a week about it. ‘Cause I would have totally done that FOR FREE!! Suckers!

4. Ginger’s trunk of evening gowns – so appropriate for an island getaway. Besides, I’d never get a chance to wear them in my regular life!

5. Sunscreen – because I am of the pigment challenged variety. The last thing I need is some wicked sunburn and to find I was stranded on the only deserted island with no aloe plants!

6. FedEx better still be delivering my NetFlix. I’m just sayin…

7. An endless supply of Coke Zero. I don’t care if they drop a container in a month at a time or just connect up a giant pipeline from the mainland. I’ll take it anyway I can get it!

8. Stephen King’s entire published library. I could even live without Harry Potter and the cast of Twilight (blasphemy to several of my friends… and Elizabeth is considering never speaking to me again. Sorry E. but Mr. King is the original!)

9. Bath and Body Works’ Warm Vanilla Sugar lotion. Cause it’s just awesome!

10. Brendan Fraser… in a loincloth… or not…

And if you want to play along too:

Now my kids are older, and my baby can make herself a sandwich. I haven’t had company in the bathroom since Sanjaya introduced the pony-hawk. I get to go on mini-vacations and weekends away sans children more often that I can believe! So, without further adieu, here’s “Me” Time, the no more babies version:

1. Go to a movie – I know that you are all totally shocked by this. Whaaa?? Tiffany likes movies? You don’t say? Yeah, I know. I like to state the obvious!

2. Exercise – whether it’s an hour at the gym or just hitting the elliptical with an episode of Friends and my door tightly locked – workout time is my ultimate ME time!

3. Go to the library – yep, uber-geek here. Our library has free Wi-Fi. Sometimes I’ll take my laptop and go hang out with the college kids at the library for a few hours in the evening – you know, now that Biggest Loser is on hiatus.

4. Sew – I used to LOVE to sew. Love it. And I just haven’t had the time anymore. Well, I’ve spent the last week getting my machines out of mothballs (and taking one down to the shop for repair – $120 later! YIKES!!) But really, I love creating things. And sewing is a wonderful way to express myself. So much so, that I’m opening an etsy shop. I’ll have a link to it when I get it up and going. Hopefully by the end of the month.

5. Manicure/pedicure/spa-treatment crap – I don’t do this often. Looking at my feet, I definitely don’t do it often enough! Double Yikes!! I better schedule me some “Me” time at the nail salon darn quick!

6. Crocheting – this goes along with #4. I’m working on a baby blanket for a friend of mine right now. It’s so relaxing and just fun. And I love having something to do while I’m vegging out in front of the tv. I get to feel productive – bonus!!

7. If gas wasn’t so expensive (we’re one cent away from $3 per gallon for regular!) I’d say going to the beach. I used to love to just stroll along the shore, listen to the waves crash, smell that salty ocean air, feel the mist on my face and the sand under my feet. There is seriously nothing in this world more relaxing and rejuvenating than time on the beach.

8. Daydream – this is a luxury I’ve reclaimed in recent years. When the kids were small, I didn’t even have a moment long enough for my own thoughts, much less a whole fantasy. Now, I love to just close my eyes and let my mind wander. Ah… Brendan Fraser… hmm… wha… oh yes…

9. Sleep – yep, sometimes (very rarely) I change into my comfiest jammies, curl up in bed and take a nap… in the middle of the day!! All by myself!! It.Is.Awesome!

10. Read – this is my number one favorite thing to do. I try to carve out time to read every day. I went for a few years without pleasure reading and I tell you, I was all the worse for it. For all the movie-whore that I am, it’s reading that I could not live without.

And if you want to play along too:

1. San Francisco – I love my city by the bay. LOVE IT!! I would totally marry it. Damn you supporters of Prop. 8!!

2. Santa Cruz, CA – the summers of my youth were spent here.

3. San Jose, CA – my hometown, the heart and soul of Silicon Valley. I love that I grew up here in the ’70s and ’80s.

4. Marin County, CA – where I live now. OK, so it’s not really a city… bite me!! I love it here!

5. San Diego, CA – the weather here is perfect 365 days a year. It is gorgeous. I would totally live here if I could afford it! Totally!

6. Seattle, WA – it’s like San Francisco only further north and in another state. (’cause I like to state the obvious, that’s why!)

7. Bermuda… ok so it’s an island, not a city. I can’t remember the name of the town we visited when I was a kid but I imagine that’s what Eden was like before all the apple eating. B.E.A.utiful!!!

8. Anaheim, CA – cause it’s where Disneyland is – DUH!!!

9. Yosemite, CA – I know it’s a national park… but doesn’t that also make it a city, or town or something? I loved camping there when I was a kid. Totally loved it!!

10. Honolulu, HI – cause it’s HAWAII and what’s not to love. I’d totally live there too!!

And if you want to play along too:

1. fill the $100s worth of picture frames I bought last month currently stacked in a corner of the living room.

2. hang frames from #1 once filled

3. start cross-stitching Easter kit I just HAD to have last month, still sitting in store bag by front door

4. download video of Cali in school musical two weeks ago

5. put up draperies and rods that I bought in February and are now scattered about the living room and family room

6. go to the gym that I just signed up for and haven’t set foot in since!

7. book campground reservations for camping trip boys and I are taking over Spring Break in less than two weeks

8. buy a tent for use during #7

9. clean out from under my bed – I could have a 6th child lost under there that I completely forgot about!!

10. Lose these last damn 20 pounds!!

And if you want to play along too:

1. Road trip – vacation means going away from home. Even if it’s just a mile away to my parents’ home. That still totally counts!

2. Not dieting! Vacation means taking a break from my regular life. Which means I don’t obsess and calorie count. If I feel like eating a dozen donuts for a mid-day snack, that’s totally awesome. Because I’m on vacation – and everyone knows that vacation calories don’t count… until you get home!

3. Exploring – I’m a do-er (when I’m not a sleeper, reader, or sun-bather) I love to get out and DO things. Preferably things I couldn’t/wouldn’t do in an ordinary day. Sightseeing, hiking, wandering aimlessly thru a museum – these are all good things!

4. Not set an alarm clock! This should be my number one, but occasionally even on vacation it still happens. Like when you need to catch the 9:00 bus to make the 10:00 ferry cruise around Manhattan. But aside from the exception, my very favorite thing is going to bed knowing I won’t be woken up by an incessant MEEP MEEP MEEP! Oh, that is the BEST!!

5. Dressing for the weather outside and not the insanely cold temperature of my office! I hate when it’s 80 degrees outside and I still need to make sure I brought a coat to work, to put on when I walk IN the door!!

6. Hanging out with my kids. Now this IS my number one favorite thing. Getting to do fun stuff and connect with my kids on their level. Vacation is where I get to be the fun mom. Let’s ride rollercoasters! Let’s eat ice cream for breakfast! Let’s laugh until someone wets their pants (oh, that would be me!)

7. Being spontaneous. Everyday is normally mapped out and scheduled to death. When we are in vacation-mode, I try to leave a certain level of fluidity. So that we can do what we feel like doing, not necessarily what the schedule says we have to do. I’m more of a fly by the seat of my pants kind of girl. Hard to do with 5 kids, especially ones on the autism spectrum. But I feel it’s important for kids to have flexibility and an ability to go with the flow.

8. Being outside. Whether it’s the beach, mountains or Disneyland – I’m an outdoorsy kinda-girl. I work inside all day long every freakin’ day. When I’m on vaca, I need to be OUTSIDE in the fresh air and sunshine!!

9. Doing something out of the ordinary. I think that one’s pretty self-explanatory!

10. Crossing off one of the 101 things to do in 1001 days list over there in the sidebar! Goes along with #9. Spring break next month, I’m taking my two older boys on a camping trip – we’re going white-water rafting (#38), kayaking (#37) and to Universal Studios (#18)!! It’s going to be totally AWESOME!!

And if you want to play along too:

Here’s your chance to out yourself. These songs are your secret shame. The songs it’s totally not cool to love. You won’t even put them on your iPod for fear someone may scroll thru your play-list and go “WTF??!!”

1. Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice (yes, I’m sorry but I totally LOVE this song and have to seriously control myself not to break out into a horribly embarrassing MC Hammer type dance whenever I hear it!)

2. Copacabana – Barry Manilow (I claim to hate all things Barry – but I sing this one in the shower at least once a week, complete with choreography.)

3. I Want Your Sex – George Michael (goes back to my high school rebellious days of loving a song I KNOW my parents would hate!)

4. I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred (I can’t help but shake my little touche on the catwalk every time I hear it!)

5. Wind Beneath My Wings – Bette Midler (I’m a huge Bette fan and I totally choke up every freakin’ time I hear it! So suck off!!)

6. Elvira – Oakridge Boys (my parents LOVED the Oakridge boys, probably mostly my dad. He used to sing this song ALL THE TIME. I remember joining in on the Giddy Up Oom Poppa Omm Poppa Mow Mow part when I was like 3. It reminds me of car rides to Yosemite for our family camping trips over Labor Day weekend.)

7. Mmmbop – Hanson (it’s catchy. it’s a good shower song too. That’s my criteria.)

8. Sexyback – Justin Timberlake (I’m mortified to admit that I like anything by JT. Though since he has proved to have such surprising comedic chops with his guest stints on SNL, I’m not quite so mortified as the next entry…)

9. Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go – Wham (it’s 1984 and I’m wearing my giant frosted bangs, sweatshirt over button-down shirt with collar and cuffs showing and acid washed, pleated AND tapered jeans. I’m awesome and so is this song!!)

10. Amadeus – Falco (I must have played this song a million times in high school. I think that in and of itself, explains a lot!)

1. Single Ladies – Beyonce (I do currently HATE this song… especially when I catch myself singing along to it!)

2. ‘pologize – Timbaland & One Republic (just say sorry and be done with it already!)

3. Follow Me – Uncle Kracker (I don’t want to hear about your affair set to music.)

4. The Picture – Sheryl Crow & Kidd Rock (see #3)

5. Lucky – Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat (I know it’s supposed to be all sweet and everything, but it really just makes me want to hurl and blast the soundtrack from Wayne’s World!)

6. ANYTHING BY JOHN MAYER (see #5)

7. Achy, Breaky Heart – Billy Ray Cyrus (do I really need a reason?!)

8. American Boy – Estelle (honestly, I just find it annoying!)

9. Bleeding Love – Leona Lewis (I know she has a beautiful, amazing voice – however, enough with the whining!)

10. My Heart Will Go On – Celine Dion (see #9)

And if you want to play along too:

1. Every once in a while, ya gotta play hookie. Ferris Bueller had it right “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.”

2. Don’t take yourself too seriously. If you can’t make fun of yourself, I’ll be happy to do it for you. Serious people are old and boring. No one likes them… I’m just sayin’.

3. Step outside your comfort zone. That safe little box you live in – that box sucks. Unless you want to be buried in it, get out and live.

4. This goes with number 3 – that big fear you have. Face it. Conquer it. I am terrified of heights. So I went up and looked out over the observation deck of the Empire State building while in NYC. You know what, I totally did not fall off and/or die. Awesome. Now that second story balcony in the mall doesn’t seem so tough.

5. Play with your kids. Let them teach you how to play their favorite games. Go to the park and play tag. Lay on the floor and watch movies, eat popcorn, make a mess, have fun. Mom’s worry about crumbs on the carpet, kids don’t. Be a kid – let the kernels fall where they may!

6. Eat the frosting. So often, we deny ourselves the best part of the cupcake. (This is a metaphor – go with it!)

7. Learn to say NO. No one likes a doormat – it’s what we wipe our feet on. You’re better than that. Go all Stuart Smalley if you have to “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough and dog-gone it, people like me!”

8. Learn to say YES. Seem like a contradition of #7?… not so fast there, buddy! If you didn’t see Yes Man, rent it the second its available on DVD. Or better yet, go buy it. You’re welcome.

9. Make your own Bucket List. (Yes, I am aware that most of my ideas come from movies!) Or 101 Things in 1001 Days – mine is viewable in the sidebar over there somewhere —>

10. Ah, numbero Ten-o… better make it a good one… hm…. too much pressure… drawing a complete blank… wha… ok, here goes: Exercise. At least a little. Every damn day. It’s how I went

From this:

To this:

It took a year and was worth every bit of sweat, blood and tears I exuded. Now I have the energy to do #1-9!

And if you want to play along too: