And the next thing you know it’s mid-April and I’m another year older. Holy Heck! My oldest turned 21 last week and the two of us have spent the last few days partyin’ it up in Vegas, baby! Which means, she consumed a total of three alcoholic beverages, we saw some Vegasy shows, and did a lot of shopping! She doesn’t know how it party it up Vegas-style any more than I do. I spent my 21st birthday nursing an 8 day old baby (her!) while living an excessively Mormon lifestyle, so I’m not exactly an expert. We managed to muddle through somehow and had a really awesome time. She got ever so slightly buzzed from a few SIPS of a fuzzy navel (I think that’s what it was) and she HATED it! She didn’t even really like the sake we had for our first official dinner out, and this is a girl who would live in Japan if she could figure out how. Oh, and I made her put $20 in a slot machine and spin spin spin until it was all gone. That took about 30 minutes – penny slots and she hit big a few times, really stretched it out. When it was gone, she was all “that was fun! Glad it was your $20!” LOL. So I think we can officially cross drunk gambler off her list of potential careers. Whew!

I am now officially 42 years old. An age my dad never saw. I feel a bit like I have that monkey off my back, in a weird way. I don’t know how to describe it, but there was a weight lifted when I woke up yesterday morning. And I can just feel it – this year is going to be my best so far. It’s just a feeling I have. I am really looking forward to all that 42 is going to bring my way.

Which I guess brings me to an update of that sort. Back in 2010 I was posting quite regularly about my depression and all that I was going through psychologically. Then I got all paranoid and went through a self-protective phase and deleted it all. So for those of you who’ve asked, here’s where I am now:

Both my reg and psych docs agreed that the meds weren’t doing me any good. I am not bi-polar or anything of that sort. I’ve had several major life traumas (including my childhood) and went through some severe depression which was perfectly normal for what I was dealing with at the time (yay, Me & Normal in the same sentence!) I got through that last dark period and have come out the other side. So I’ve been med free since last August. And I’m doing better than ever. Emotionally.

Physically…. eh… I gained a bunch of weight on all those meds and I’ve been really struggling to lose it (unsuccessfully so far). About the time I went off my meds, I became anemic. Only I didn’t know that’s what it was, and couldn’t figure out why I’m so tired all the freakin’ time. Finally went back into the doc last month and had some blood tests done. My mom has hypothyroidism and I was worried that I’d developed it too. I was also concerned about my cholesterol levels, diabetes and a host of other diseases that weight + over 40 makes you suddenly start worrying about. Well, super clean bill of health!! Other than some minor anemia, all my numbers on everything else was perfect. Oh, and I was suffering from some exhaustion. I work. A lot. And I was just burning out. I forget to cut myself some slack and acknowledged that I do really have a lot on my plate. I don’t pretend to be supermom, not by a long shot. But I am a single working mom with special needs kids and that is a lot for anyone. So docs orders are to eat more iron rich foods, cut out the junk, move my ass more, and be sure to schedule in some play time. So I am doing just that. Vegas – check!! But more than that, I’m scheduling mini-vacations through out the year and refusing to feel guilty for taking them. I work my f-ing ass off and I deserve t0 have some fun too!

So that’s the scoop. I’ll be back to posting in here several times a week again. I really enjoy it and it helps me stay focused on the present. Plus it’s easier to answer everyone’s questions here in one shot! ‘Cause I’m efficient (and lazy) like that!

Tuesday: pasta (think spaghetti with spiraly noodles)

Wednesday: something with chicken

Thursday: something else with chicken

Friday:  pizza night!

Saturday: turkey burgers

Sunday: turkey chili – crockpot

Sean with the lego plane he made out of:
The Knight Bus
Hogwarts Castle
and the passenger plane he got for Christmas 

I know how losing a parent affect a child, I was 17. My kids are already down a parent, neither of my ex-husbands are present in their daily lives. And the idea of leaving them at this stage in their lives leaves me nearly paralyzed with fear. I can NOT die. And I think this fear is what is so drastically affecting my life right now. I feel a level of stress that I can’t account for. I mean sure, single mom, special needs kids, not rich by any means, etc… I have lots of stressors. But I have a secure job. My landlord is a great guy and I don’t worry about my housing. I live super close to famiy, I have a great support system in place if I need it. Sean’s teachers are amazing and they are working so well with him. And now Skye is needing extra help and again her teacher is so on top of it, I feel guilty for not being a more involved parent. I have zero complaints about the school district and educational system my kids are functioning in.

But I feel stressed out of my mind. To the point of feeling myself shut down in some regards. I’m tired. Run down. Burnt out. I need a break. Or at the very least, a long nap.

I know that if I had a better handle on my health, that would roll over into other aspects of my life. But that just seems to be one more stressor I can’t handle. And I’m in my 40s now. I don’t need to be worrying about diabetes, cholesterol, heart disease!

So, bear with me for the next few weeks while I talk about this impending date. A lot. It’s weighing on my mind. A lot. One thing I can guarantee: I will not be skiing any time soon.

Unfortunately in these here parts, 5th grade is the end of elementary school. Middle school is where the 6th graders go. He’d still be in his Special Day program, but new school, some new kids, new environment, new teachers…. new everything. Sean doesn’t do so well with the whole “new” thing.

And so I’ve come up with an idea that has never been done here before. I’ve been told I’ll be breaking new ground. I want to hold Sean back a year and have him repeat the 5th grade. No child in the Special Day program (in our district, I don’t know about other districts) has ever been held back a grade. It’s unprecedented. I do always like to take the never been traveled, hard road. Just ask my mom.

My reasons are many. Give him another year, in an environment he absolutely is thriving in. He very well should be up to third grade level by the end of the year. Another year could have him up to 4th or even approaching 5th. He’s going to have a long adjustment period when he goes over to Middle school. He very well may lose that year, learning wise. Let’s get him as close to grade level as possible before throwing him to the wolves… ok, an exaggeration perhaps. But Middle School is a dog eat dog world.

Sean is also at the young end of his grade. His birthday is towards the end of September. If we’d lived in just about any other state when he entered the school system, he’d only be in 4th grade now. He’s an average sized kid and won’t be huge or obviously “bigger” than kids that are in the lower grade now. It would make him 18 when he graduates from high school, right on time!

Sean has always been in a mixed grade classroom environment. First it was K-2, then 3-5. This year they moved schools but retained the same teacher and it switched to a 4-5 grade class. He’s used to friends “moving on” without him because they were in the older grade. He has many friends this year that are in the 4th grade and so will be in this class next year too. He won’t feel left behind because that’s not a concept he’s familiar with.

And Sean is completely unaware of “peer pressure”. He won’t be affected by any sort of social stigma. He loves his teachers, his school and his class. He’s expressed to me repeatedly how much he wishes he could stay in this class next year.

So, I’ve armed myself with all this info. I’ve talked to his teacher so he would be aware of my intentions and why. I had a meeting just before the holiday season got crazy, with the district head of the Special day program. We have “the big meeting” set for the 19th. I’ll know then if this is a matter of paperwork and some red tape, or if I’m going to have to put on my Mama Bear war paint and prep for battle. Because make no mistake, this is what I KNOW is best for my son. And I will go down fighting for him.

Monday – whatever Jas throws together, I’m hoping it doesn’t involve cereal
Tuesday – brinner: bacon, eggs and cinnamon rolls (thank you Pillsbury cans leftover from Christmas)
Wednesday – pasta w/ spaghetti sauce (meatless cause that’s how we roll) garlic bread, green salad
Thursday – grilled cheese sandwiches and soup
Friday – pizza night!!
Saturday – since I don’t work this day, I should really actually cook something…
Sunday – I’m feelin’ my crockpot calling!!

I slept in! And then I watched a Dance Moms marathon on Lifetime until noon. The kids and I made a big batch of nachos and played Life. That would be all the kids that still live at home, including my two teenage sons. Tad ended up with so many kids, he needed a second car. For whatever reason, we all found that hysterically funny. (FYI, I totally won!) Afterwards, we watched Judge Judy and made s’mores in the microwave. Sean got in some bike riding.

The kids are putting away some laundry now. Tomorrow is school pictures and I do like them to look a little spiffy at least one day out of the year! Soon it will be baths, books and bed. Skye did get a little snuggle time in with Runner. He still is the world’s cutest, tamest and oddest hamster. I think he believes himself to be a small dog. A couple of weeks ago, the kids put him on my bed next to me while I was reading. He curled up and went to sleep. He also likes to take food out of your hand and eat it (rather than storing it in his cheeks for later) and he will just sit in your hand and hang out. He never bites or tries to get away. His cage door has been accidentally left open on more than one occasion and he’ll just be sitting in there looking at us like “will someone close this thing for me? I wasn’t raised in a barn!”

You might notice a slight redness at the inner corner of Skye’s eye. The muscles that were surgically shortened a couple of weeks ago are in the final healing stages. She’s self-conscious of it, but its only really noticeable when she is looking hard to either side. The doctor said her eyes are healing up incredibly fast and the surgery went better than he could have hoped. He believes this will be the last corrective surgery she will ever need (knock on wood, fingers crossed, salt over shoulder, whatever other superstitious rituals will help!) She has strabismus, in her case her eyes turn outward. Thank goodness her vision is 20/20 regardless!

Tomorrow its back to our regularly scheduled programming of work, school, work, stress. But it’s a short week and Saturday will be back again before we know it. Yay!!

Sean and Skye spent the morning constructing this: The tv is in there, as are a variety of stuffed animals, a dvd player, Runner the hamster and goodness knows what else. I think there’s some sort of strategy session going on. I hope it’s not a hostile take over. I think Sean had his calculator in there, so they could be balancing the budget. You’re welcome, Congress.

After lunch, Jason took the littles over to my parents’ house for some end of summer swimming. The weather here is still awesome, in the 80s, and the kids have been begging all week. I figured they’d get to get their swim on and I could enjoy a little quiet time at ye olde homestead, which I never, ever, ever get. The problem is my mom-ness got the best of me. Within 10 minutes of them leaving, I had a load of laundry going and was in the kitchen scrubbing out the sink. Why? I can only assume a great illness has befallen me. I loathe housework, that’s why I have so many kids. With four still at home, I should NEVER have to scrub out the sink. And yet, I got some perverse SATISFACTION from that damn shiny clean sink. I need to call my doctor. I’m sure this is the first sign of an aneurysm. Or stroke. Or possibly complete mental breakdown. If it happens again before Tuesday, I’ll rush down to the ER immediately. I promise.

About the time the kids got back, I was just settling into an Extreme Couponing marathon. I spent a little Facebook time, finished the Spy Kids movie review, and had delegated the rest of the laundry to the kids. Obviously, I was feeling better. Whew!

I did have to run to the grocery store for dinner fixin’s. I really need to get better organized! I’ve started bringing one of the little kids with me, to get some extra one on one time in where I can. And because since they’re not babies anymore, they don’t slow me down. It was Skye’s turn and seeing her little eyes light up because its her turn to go with Mommy – well, it made my heart go all ooey-gooey.

So as we’re walking down the back isle where they were restocking the meat cases, Skye asked me “Mom, is it meat season?!” Ah, we are city girls!

We were out of one of our household staples, ice cream. Look at what we scored: Circus Animal Cookie ice cream!! This was like just the perfect end to the perfect day! I think this must be why people love Saturdays so much!

Spy Kids : All the Time in the World in 4D

Opened August 19, 2011 | Runtime: 1 hr. 29 min.

PG for mild action and rude humor

Synopsis: Be nice to your stepmom, she’s probably a retired spy.

I know what you’re asking yourself: what is 4D? And after experiencing it, can we ever really enjoy a regular ol’ 3D movie again?! No worries, my friends. I can answer all that and so much more.

4D is 3D with the added dimension SMELL. The makers of Spy Kids call it AROMA-SCOPE. Ooooooohhhhhhh. Aaaaaaaahhhhhhh! Brilliant! How does it work? Upon purchasing your ticket, you receive not only your 3D glasses but this:

Yep, a large numbered cardboard scratch n’ sniff sticker. That right there is 21st century technology at it’s finest. The future of cinematography – scented cardboard. No, I’ll never be able to watch a regular old non-scented movie ever again. I would like to see the original Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory remastered in Aroma-scope – but it would probably require something the size of a textbook. Maybe Steve Jobs has stepped back from his daily duties at Apple and is collaborating with George Lucas to develop iSmell! I think I’m on to something there…

As for the movie… with or without the Smell-o-card, it stunk.

It was worse than the Smurfs. Shocking, I know! It didn’t have the single element that made the Smurfs somewhat tolerable: Neil Patrick Harris. And boy, it really could have used him. To make it worse, Spy Kids “stars” Jessica Alba and Jeremy Piven. Oh insult, meet injury.

The script only seems to further prove the stereotype that everyone in Hollywood does drugs – no clean and sober person was anywhere near that thing. It made no sense whatsoever. I know, I know this was a kids’ special effects movie, and plot is about as important here as it is in porn. Awesome – I just equated kids movies with porn. That’s Mommy Blogger of the Year material right there!

Something good (or at least sort of fun and mildly interesting): The two kids from the original Spy Kids reprise their roles. That was semi-cool-ish.

My overall review: I rate this slightly below The Smurfs. That speaks volumes.

Here’s what Sean and Skye thought:

So I started thinking of indoor things we could do up here in Marin or Sonoma county. Movies came immediately to mind (naturally!) but that’s only about 90 minutes worth of entertainment. We needed something additional. And then it struck me (the puns are starting already!) Bowling! The kids have been begging me to take them bowling forever. The closest lanes are about 20 minutes away (plus bowling is no longer a cheap activity!) and so there are always a million and one reasons why we can’t go. Well today, those excuses were kicked to the curb. It was decided. Bowling AND a movie! Wicked AWESOME!!

These days, when I say kids, I mean Sean and Skye, and usually Tad. Cali doesn’t live at home anymore and is very busy being a responsible adult. Jason does still live at home, but he’s all gettin’ his responsible adultness on too. So “the kids” I’m actually referring to the ones who are not legally adults. It pains me that I have TWO who are legally adults. But I digress…

Tad, Sean, Skye and I hit the lanes for almost two glorious hours. We barely managed to squeeze in two games. It totally surprised me how long it takes 4 people to bowl 10 frames twice. And we pushed it hard and fast through the second one. They put the rails up for the kids, and I can tell you it helped improve my score immensely! They had flyers advertising family dollar nights and we decided we’d be making the whole bowling thing a regular activity. Sean wants his own bowling ball. I think it may be a while before that happens. But I do hope to be posting again soon about our latest bowling exploits. Strike on, my friends. Strike on!!

Sean snapped that one of me. Not my best angle. These days, I’m not really feeling a best angle, so I guess it doesn’t matter. But I bowled with my kids and lived to blog about it, photographic evidence and all.

Afterwards, we went to a matinee showing of Spy Kids: All the Time in the World in 4D. Aroma-vision is the 4th dimension. I’ll be doing a movie review of that tomorrow. That is a whole other post!! I’ll spare you that for now (and on that pun, I close!)